Which meditation should I do?
meditation and meditative practices
Meditation can be many things. This morning when meditating, I realized that over the years, I have tried several different techniques. With a very flexible (Hello Vata!) personality and body type, I have come to accept that only doing one type will get too boring for me. I meditate every day no matter the circumstances, but what that meditation is, varies. A clear structure is needed for when I practice, but flexibility within the frame for how is necessary to keep interested. In periods I needed simplicity, a more traditional masculine approach focusing on the breath and body sitting down, and being still. Other times a more feminine intuitive, explorative approach such as wild dancing, physical yoga, or even playful running is my meditation. Something can be meditation, or it can be meditative. I would say there is a difference in how we do each of these practices, but the results we get are similar. Is it only me or have you discovered that you need different styles of focused attention too?
Photo: Patrick Viebranz
Five ways to approach meditation:
Masculine nondual meditation.
Mantra meditation.
Tantric meditation.
Energy management meditation.
Feminine movement meditation.
Waiting for the thoughts to stop
The intention here is to help you understand that meditation is not sitting down in a buddha type position and waiting until you stop thinking. The thoughts do not stop (spoiler alert) but your relationship with and reactions to them can be altered. Meditation and meditative practices help us calm the mind, focus, have more energy, move from the head into the body, process emotions, and impressions, regulate the nervous system, strengthen intuition and live life from a more true place. Not every type of meditation or meditative practice will suit everyone. Here are my interpretation and thoughts on the different ones I have explored over the years.
1. Masculine none dual meditation
The classic none attachment path as practiced in Buddhism, Taoism, and mindfulness schools. The idea here is to just allow the body to be the way it is and sit still observing it. Notice the breath, the visual field behind your eyelids, the sounds around you, the itch on your arm from the fly that just landed there, but do nothing about it. Nondual meditation and practice refer to detaching from our experience and observing it from the outside. A thought arrives, I see it, but let it float on as a cloud in a blue sky. Often the breath is used as an anchor to keep focus and bring back attention to the body and the present moment. This kind of meditation is extremely helpful when we are stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, or feeling cold and scattered. It provides a clear, simple structure and container for the practice and I would therefore call it a more masculine way of meditating.
Set a timer for 5-20 minutes and practice sitting with yourself. It will become apparent how fast your thoughts are, how short the attention span can be, and maybe how freaking difficult it is to just be still. Especially when we have resistance to this kind of meditation, it is the most needed. There is not much room for interpretation or choice which can be exactly the container we need sometimes in a fast-paced world. Sam Harris offers a beautiful beginners course and daily meditations in this style in his app Waking up, try it for free here.
2. Mantra meditation
The point here is to give the mind something to do in meditation. Repetition of a word or sentence can be used. It is helpful for beginners or experienced practitioners who find that they need something more to focus on than just the body. A mala, a band of praying beads can be used too. A mala has 108 beads on it and you might have seen it be worn as a necklace. For each repetition of the phrase or mantra you think or say out loud, you move a bead between the thumb and middle finger. The index finger is traditionally not used to count the beads since it is associated with the ego and for this practice, we want to leave the ego and performance out of it. It usually takes about 10 minutes to go through all the beads on the mala. You can repeat them silently in your mind or speak them out loud. If the sense of touch is your main sense or physical touch your main love language, this can be extremely helpful to gain focus. The attention is then on the fingers and we easier move out of the mind. A personal mantra can be given by a teacher that is used for meditation. When I asked my teacher how long I should use my mantra before changing it, she answered for at least 30 years. It is apparently a process. It is something I use when standing in line at a stressful airport, when I’m about to drop something or carry something heavy, have obsessive thoughts that I want to replace, or need to focus and breathe deeply for other reasons. It reminds me of the deeper meaning of the mantra but also feels soothing to focus on something outside of myself. The Sanskrit sounds carry a special vibration that truly brings me into the present moment. Did you know that Sanskrit and Hebrew are the only two languages founded upon the vibration of sounds? This means that speaking or thinking words in these languages will have an effect on us, just like we can feel the effect when hearing a sound bowl play or when we sing the word Om. It is hard to explain, but the vibration does influence us. You can also choose a word or phrase in English or something in your mother tongue as your mantra phrase.
3. Tantric meditation
The way here is through it. With the understanding that what you resist persists, this kind of meditation gives you free rain to accept and feel it all. Here you can allow the thoughts to guide you and feed into feelings that you are allowed to fully experience. You might even schedule time and set a timer to enhance them and let your fantasy run wild to get it out of your system. Given full permission, this can be a beautiful way to explore tabus, obsessiveness, and strong emotions. Sometimes we just can not ignore our thoughts, feelings, and sensations and move attention to the breath. It can be incredibly liberating to be allowed to go beyond where you usually stop yourself. Begin by noticing where in your body you feel a strong sensation. By using deep breaths into the area you can enhance it, explore it, allow it to broaden and deepen and feel more more more. What kind of sensation is it? Does it move? Pulsate? Does it have a color or sound? Do you want to express a sound when feeling it? Everything’s welcome here. It can be a liberating way to explore a sexual fantasy in a safe way, process difficult experiences or even face anxiety. What we often notice is that when the mind is allowed to go to the wrong, painful, or otherwise rejected thoughts it can be surprised at first. Resistance might surface and thoughts such as “I am not supposed to think or feel this way, this is wrong, this is too hard or too much”. By doing this in a safe space alone, next to a teacher or partner, you can train your nervous system to hold yourself through challenging experiences and feelings. Eventually, you will learn just how strong you are and that you are capable of doing hard things. Begin slowly. Only you know where your boundaries are and which ones you choose to go beyond in your own sovereignty and which ones not to cross.
4. Energy management meditation
Similarly to mantra meditation here we give the mind something to do. Through visualizing and imagination you can work with your energy to redirect it. It is incredibly powerful bringing attention to what we already experience with gravity and our sense of striving upwards. Just like we have a rebounding action in yoga, pressing one hand down, drawing the other one up to extend, we practice this as we walk, sit and lay down. In this kind of meditation, we make it conscious and it can shift how we feel in a short time. Remember a time when you suddenly felt off and uncomfortable? Maybe after walking into a room where someone is in an argument, getting a message that made you feel strong emotion, or hearing someone share not-so-great news. You may have held your breath and felt locked up and stuck. Also on an energetic level, stagnated. By imagining that you ground down with a grounding chord, and at the same time connect to the cosmos above you, begin to move earth and cosmic energy through your body. Emotions (energy in motion) can then flow again. You can also imagine your main seven chakras spinning and bringing them in movement and sync again. It can truly shift your entire attitude in the day, and the beauty of it is that you have the power to bring awareness to this yourself. I share this kind of meditation in my courses. Explore the first weeks guided meditation in the video linked.
5. Feminine movement meditation.
This can be slow walking meditation, physical yoga, singing, making music, painting, or expressive dance. By giving the body something to do and focus on, the mind slows down. When we struggle to be in stillness, it can be helpful to first move and get into the body out of the mind. Just like we more easily can relax in shavasana at the end of a yoga class, we can meditate easier when we have moved the body the way it asks us to, before sitting still.
Walking meditation is a conscious practice where you with playful focused attention in slow motion put down one toe after another, the front part of the foot, the middle, and eventually the heel. Only when one foot is fully on the ground, do you slowly begin to lift the next one off. The full focus is on the feet and what they feel like, the slower you move the better. Get really curious here about what it feels like at the different parts of your feet.
In yoga today we often tend to move fast rushing through opportunities to get curious about what is happening in the body. When we slow down, hold postures longer, and explore discomfort we can learn so much about ourselves. It is also a beautiful opportunity to be present when we find it hard to sit still. Let the movement be intuitive and when your mind tells you, I can not do this, stay a few more breaths exploring your boundaries. There should never be sharp pain of course, but welcome discomfort here.
Singing and exploring your voice can be incredibly meditative. Chances are that if you already sing or play an instrument, you know exactly what kind of one-pointed focus I am talking about. If this is new to you, begin singing in the car where no one can hear you, in the shower with that beautiful acoustic, or as you dance to your favorite songs to explore your voice. Claiming your voice in this way can be incredibly liberating and strengthening. The strength and power you build in your singing voice will also support you in using your voice in your everyday life.
When it comes to dancing there are no rules. As cliche as it sounds, dance as if no one’s watching. Or maybe if it helps you as if someone is watching. Or as if you were dancing with someone? Let the movements get as big or small as you like. Shake, hop, skip, stretch, flow, spin, fold, expand and feel every cell of your existence move. Dancing can bring expansion, clear a tired mind and shake up and energize a stiff body. It is also really fun, playful, and a great way to get to know yourself and how you like to move better.
Are you ready to dive deeper?
I hope this has been helpful and that it sparked some inspiration in your practice. This is my interpretation of what these terms mean and I would love to hear your perspective. What meditation do you practice?
And with who if through a guide?
Please share any references or ideas below. It is wonderful to learn from other teachers, no doubt. Our practice can truly flourish though when we make the practice ours.
If you are new to meditation or curious to learn more, you're more than welcome to join Balanced Step by Step, my 10-week online course beginning October 11th. We explore self-care, meditation, how and what to eat, yoga, boundaries, and so much more relating to coaching, yoga, and Ayurveda. I would love to share more with you. You can read all about it below and feel free to email me with questions at hello@areyouvedic.co.uk.